Leave an Impact

When we were asked to brainstorm about this idea in class, I had a lot of trouble thinking of anything to write down. It's a pretty broad question, and I feel as though I'm still developing ways I can impact those around me and the ideas that I have for my community and my future. If I had taken this class as a first year, I probably would have written about something solid and definitive, like the career I hope to have eventually. Last Tuesday, however, I found myself writing about kindness.

Being kind is not some big, overarching idea that needs to be worked toward. It can be performed in an instant or over a lifetime, but it's often overlooked in lieu of what we deem more important: work, progress, relationships, life. My vision involves all of us inserting kindness into each of these themes and sitting back to watch the great things that happen. Did you have a tough middle school/junior high/high school experience? I know I did (Thanks again, Bonnie, for all those years of homeschooling to prepare me for the experience), and thinking about how much easier that atmosphere would have been to integrate into with support and understanding makes me question the values that we all have behind our intentions. Are they the same ones that we would want to raise our kids with? Some general thoughts:

• Not everyone can make themselves vulnerable.
  This is something that it took me a long time to realize--even if I'm quiet, I try to put meaning and honesty into everything I say. If you're like that, too, try to understand that not everyone operates this way (few people do). If you don't identify with this type of communication, I suggest having a vulnerable conversation with someone; it's so meaningful and makes you open up a lot more than you probably thought you could. 
• Being able to relate to others is a skill.
  Not everyone is like you. In fact, no one is like you. You're surrounded by people with similar economic backgrounds--and if you're in a student org, you're surrounded by people with similar values. But you're also surrounded by people with vastly different backgrounds and upbringings, with different life experiences that you cannot even begin to imagine. One of my favorite sayings tells us to be kind to everyone we meet, because they're going through a battle we don't know about. Although it's a little dramatic, it's true. Do your best to relate to everyone you interact with, especially in meaningful relationships. If you can't relate to a person, you're unable to perceptualize their situation and how hard or long it might be. 
• I thought I had a third point but I don't. And just two bullet points looks dumb. 

Be kind. :) 

Conflict Management Activity

Issue: The executive board of a sorority on Ohio State’s campus is collecting their members’ dues to pay for their own membership dues and for extemporaneous things, such as alcohol, expensive dinners, and designer clothes. A newly elected member of the exec board learns of this and doesn't want it to continue. What does she do? She knows that by exposing this it would ruin everyone’s reputation.

Solution: First, the new executive board member should address her fellow board members and express how she feels. It may be the situation that her fellow leaders feel similarly but are afraid to speak up, and by taking initiative she could solve the problem within the chapter and not make it a public scene. If this does not work, the member should write a letter to the national headquarters of her chapter explaining the issue. It is the responsibility of an executive board member to report her own chapter if she feels that they are not adhering to their values, and it is the responsibility of the headquarters to appropriately deal with issues that arise in their chapters. The national association should be able to step in and respectfully and tactfully deal with the issue, bringing the least possible public attention to the negligence of their chapter. 

Applying Tuckman's Stages of Group Dynamics to Pitch Perfect

Main characters of the group: 

Aubrey: Acts as the initial leader of the group

-       Very controlling/dictatorial

-       Opinion giver: emphasizes her way or no way- lives in the tradition and appearance of her group 

-       Causes a lot of the conflict- reason for a lot of what happens in the storming stage

-       Lacks empathy towards the members of her group “

-       Relational leaderships requires communication skills that help each person seek to understand other, not just persuade them.” (page 170)

-       Becomes a follower at the end

-       Chloe:

-       Mediator: tries to keep playing field even, does not like conflict

-       What Aubrey lacks in empathy, Chloe makes up for it as a secondary leader

-       Lacks a true voice in the group

-       Beca:

-       Seen as a “blocker” by Aubrey: Aubrey sees Beca as a negative person who does not care about the group/ wants the group to fail

-       Opinion Giver: Shares her ideas with the Bellas about how to make their performance better

-       Encourager: Listens to the opinions of everyone in the group and encourages individuality

-       In the end, Beca’s sympathetic attitude towards the group and her want for the group to succeed makes her the new leader

-       Fat Amy, Cynthia Rose, Lilly:

-       Add diversity to the group

-       Act as followers: listen to Aubrey and is willing to support the group’s actions

-       3 Dimensions of a Group

-       - Purpose: To win nationals.

-       - Structure: In the beginning Aubrey is the one and only leader while Chloe is just her follower. She is almost dictator like, and is only an opinion giver instead of an opinion seeker. As the movie goes on this changes; the Bellas work together, and all use their unique personalities and talents for the betterment of the group.

-       - Time: The Bellas spend many hours a week to prepare for competitions. This goes on for the entirety of the school year/until Nationals.

-       Group Development

 Forming: Aubrey and Chloe conduct the Forming stage of the progress of the group when they focus in the beginning of the movie on recruiting pretty, “bikini-ready” girls as they audition singers for The Bellas. In the beginning of the film, Aubrey and Chloe pass out fliers for The Bellas at the student involvement fair. Chloe is receptive to basically everyone, while Aubrey is more selective, remarking on Fat Amy’s self-given nickname and speaking harshly to Beca when she criticizes The Bellas. During auditions, Chloe and Aubrey exhibit the common purpose of the group as they search for women who have what they are looking for: vocal skills and good looks. After selections, the group showcases empowerment through ritual in initiation by making it clear that the new members should be proud of having made the cut; the post-ritual party of all the acapella groups shows their desire to promote the group as a whole through inclusivity and welcoming the new members to their lifestyle.

-       Storming: Beca is the main protagonist during the Storming stage of “Pitch Perfect.” She attempts to be ethical by protesting some things Aubrey does that she feels are mean; for example, when Aubrey ejects a new member for having relations with a Treble by making the member leave The Bellas’ meeting and dragging her chair after her, Beca speaks up and says that wasn’t necessary. Aubrey feels challenged and confronts Beca after the meeting, but Beca does not concede. This introduces the Storming stage that lasts for a significant part of the film. Beca continues to challenge Aubrey’s authority by contesting The Bellas’ old-fashioned style, but Aubrey refuses to compromise. Later, during a performance, Beca sings a different harmony without warning, causing the group members to lose their concentration and Aubrey to confront her. Beca leaves The Bellas, and Chloe and Aubrey continue to conflict over song and performance choices.

-       Norming: Norming is performed when Beca returns to group later in the movie. Beca comes back because she realizes that her reasons for joining the group have changed (i.e., she actually enjoys being a contributing member), and Aubrey accepts her back into the group because she realizes the purpose of The Bellas is not only to be a group of “hot” singers, but to grow as a team and learn new skills, some of which include using new material. The group decides to try out one of Beca’s remixes in a scene which exemplifies the Norming stage, using their new skills in a mash-up number. Empowered by their new skills and purpose, The Bellas are able to form a more cohesive group by sharing more responsibility between all of the members.

-       Performing: This stage is shown at the final performance. The group is able to use their new skills that they collaboratively developed and showcase them in a remix mash-up of songs that empowers each member by allowing them to use their individual talents (beat-boxing, dancing, etc.). The Bellas are able to win the competition only because they are finally at the Performing stage, where each member is showing the core purpose of the group.

-       Adjourning: The Adjourning stage of “Pitch Perfect” recognizes the progress of the group through a scene of the following year’s acapella auditions. They are looking for a more diverse, inclusive style that identifies with a broader range of applicants.